An Interesting Theory
by TamTikitigo
Summary: What does Seamus Finnigan do as a result of angst? SeamusDean slash.
1. Chapter 1

Yep. Dean/Seamus pairing. I don't have much to say other than that. Hope you enjoy. Don't own Harry Potter, by the by. That's all J.K Rowling. This is mostly rated for language. Nothing hardcore; I can't write hardcore slash. That's what you're looking for... uh... use your imagination?

-Chapter 1-

"You really like him, don't you?" Ginny said to Dean. It was the first time that anyone had ever said something like this to Dean. It was the first time he was ever given the opportunity to confess what he had been hiding for what felt like years.

"I don't know," he said after a long pause. "Well, of course I like him, but..." Again, another pause. Dean wanted desperately to finish the sentence with 'but I don't just like him, I adore him. I love him,' and considering he was talking to a good friend, he probably could have said that without a negative reaction. Still, Dean couldn't bring himself to say it.

Instead, he sighed, and continued with "but I know that's not what you mean. I, wow, I don't know how to respond to that question. It's not like I'm smitten with him all the time, but it's these moments we share that make me unable to think of anything but him for the rest of the day. He just does things, Jesus, what he'll say to me whenever I'm depressed, he's just... so sweet. I can't get over it. And he's so, humorous and so..." a smile crept across Dean's face, "adorable. He has this smile he makes whenever I say something encouraging to him and it drives me crazy. I don't know why. He's amazing, I can't help it."

Dean was shocked with himself that he even said that much. Ginny smiled softly at him. "Why don't you just tell him?" She asked. Dean glared at her.

"Oh yeah, sure. That wouldn't be awkward for him to hear. 'Hey Seamus, I know you're straight, but I'm madly in love with you.' No, I don't think so Ginny," he replied. "Besides, this will blow over. It's just that we've been friends for way too long, and I'm probably just mistaking these feelings for, for best friend feelings," he said.

"Uh huh, sure thing Ron," Ginny replied under her breath.

"What about Ron?" Dean asked suspiciously. Ginny let out a small laugh.

"You sound just like him when I was asking him about Hermione! You guys could form a club." Dean glared at her.

"It's not the same thing. At least Ron and Hermione both like the opposite sex. This is something I'm going to have to get over. It's never going to happen. It can't happen. Ignoring these feelings will probably be the hardest thing I've ever attempted... why the hell are you smiling! That better not be a mischievous smile; if you tell anyone, _especially _Seamus, I will –"

"Oh please Dean, I'm not that cruel! No, I'm just smiling because you're being ridiculous. You shouldn't have to ignore these feelings, you shouldn't have to get over this. Half the house suspects Seamus is gay anyway!"

"Well I'm not half the house. I know Seamus is straight," Dean said darkly. Ginny raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know?" She asked. Dean sighed. This wasn't a story he was a fan of.

"When I first told him I was bisexual, he didn't take it too well. He tried acting like he was alright with it, but he kept avoiding me as much as possible. I finally had to confront him about it and tell him face to face I didn't have a crush on him. And you know, at the time I didn't, but now... I don't know, this whole year I've been so frighteningly obsessed with him... God I'm such an ass. Seamus doesn't deserve this, he doesn't deserve to be friends with a fucking pervert who thinks about how gorgeous he is all the time." Dean said angrily.

"Dean, you've got to be kidding me!" Ginny exclaimed. "Anybody would kill to have someone think about how gorgeous they are all the time! Even if they were a pervert, which you are not." Dean laughed.

"No, _girls_ would kill to have someone think about how gorgeous they are all the time. Seamus isn't a girl, He isn't gay, he doesn't want me thinking he's fit. Frankly, I don't blame him. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed," Dean said, turning his back on Ginny before she could open her mouth to speak. He walked up the stairs to his dormitory, changed into his pajama's as quickly as he could, and brushed his teeth. He was about to get into his bed when he heard a voice say something.

"Dean, are you alright?" Seamus asked. Dean looked around to Seamus, who was sitting upright in his bed on top of the covers. He seemed to be holding something in his hand, but Dean couldn't tell what it was because of the small amount of light in the room. He could barely make out the other boys facial features, he was so shadowed. The only light in the room came from the moonlight streaming through the windows.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Dean said, sounding a little too cheerful to be quite that convincing.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Seamus asked while lighting the end of his wand. The light illuminated his face, showing that he was smiling in a way that clearly stated he didn't believe Dean. Dean sighed; he hated that smile.

"Not about 'it,' but I guess I wouldn't mind talking," He told him while taking a seat on Seamus's bed. "What's that in your hand?"

"It's a letter from me mam," Seamus said, his voice absent of expression. Dean instantly wished he hadn't brought up the subject. Seamus's mother had been sick for quite a while, and the subject of his mom always made Seamus a bit touchy.

"How is she?" Dean asked softly. Seamus gave a small chuckle.

"She's just being a bitch about how she hates her medicine and how she hates me being at Hogwarts instead of there supporting her and how her life is awful. The usual bullshit," Seamus said dryly, casting the letter aside. "S'nothing new."

"How are _you_?" Dean asked. Seamus paused for a little while, and stared blankly at the letter he had just cast aside. It was as if he didn't know how to answer, and he was asking the letter to give him some ideas.

"I'm fine," he said finally, his eyes still on the letter. Dean couldn't believe him. If he was fine, he'd say some stupid joke afterwards, or smile at Dean, or anything.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dean asked, smiling at Seamus. Seamus gave an insincere half smile.

"I... I don't know," he said, running his fingers through his hair. "She drives me crazy. I can't stand her. I just wish she'd die already so she could leave me alone," Seamus whispered. Dean was somewhat shocked by what he had just heard. This must have shown in Dean's facial expression, since Seamus looked at him apologetically.

"Don't look at me like that, Dean, you're making me feel worse. That sounded awful, but I didn't mean it like that... well I guess I did," he said, giving a faint laugh. "I guess I'm the worst son in the world... fuck it, I give up," he said, shaking his head and frowning.

"For gods sake Seamus, give yourself a break. You're a teenager, you're allowed to hate your own mum," Dean told him. Seamus then began laughing. It was the first real laugh Dean had heard from Seamus in a long time, and it was the first real smile Seamus had given him too. That smile. Dean tried to suppress goose bumps running up his spine.

"Thank god you didn't try telling me I'm not a bad son," Seamus said. "That's what Neville tried telling me, and it's such bullshit."

"Yeah, it is," Dean agreed, "But I'm a bad son too. So is every other teenage kid who ever lived," Dean told him.

"Now I remember why I adore you; you know brutally honest is the way I like my feedback," Seamus said while smiling at him. Dean felt a blush creep across his face, and hoped the light from Seamus's wand wasn't bright enough to show it.

"Dean?" Seamus said, looking at Dean with nervous eyes.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked. Seamus rubbed his eyes, and looked at the letter again. His facial expression was pained. It was almost as if he was trying to hold back tears. Dean couldn't tell for sure; Seamus's wand was getting dimmer and dimmer by the minute. To clarify Dean's suspicion, Seamus gave a long sigh that clearly gave away the fact he was indeed getting chocked up.

"Oh, Seamus," Dean whispered, wrapping his arms around Seamus tightly. This was half because of instinct, (growing up in a family full of crying children makes it impossible to not give someone who's crying a hug for Dean,) and half because it was Seamus. Seamus clung to Dean and sobbed silently into his shoulder.

"God, I'm such a fucking eejit for doing this," Seamus said. "I can't believe I'm crying. You must think I'm a complete woman."

"Not a complete woman," Dean said quietly, tightening his embrace on Seamus. Seamus either laughed, sobbed, or did a combination of both when he heard that, burrying his face into Dean's neck. A large part of Dean wished Seamus wouldn't burry his face into Dean's neck, since it was one of the most awkward things in the world for him. A small but very strong part of Dean loved it.

"I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of her telling me how to live and how to act. I guess that's normal, but... I just want to rebel, is that so much to ask for? Everyone else rebels from their parents, why the fuck can't I?" Seamus whispered.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked. Seamus ended the embrace, and began looking at that same letter again.

"I mean that no one else feels as guilty as Sir eejit Finnigan when it comes to disobeying their parents." Dean tried his hardest not to laugh, but the "sir eejit Finnigan" was a bit too much to handle.

"What's so funny?" Seamus asked him angrily. Dean shook his head.

"'Sir eejit Finnigan?' I'm sorry, that's just the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. What is an eejit anyway?" Dean asked. Seamus couldn't help but smile himself.

"It just means idiot, I suppose. Don't give me that look, I can't help that I'm Irish," he said, his smile widening.

"Well, _anyway_," Dean said after he and Seamus took a few minutes to laugh.

"Yes, _anyway... _I just wish I didn't feel so awful about being... something she hates. I want to feel innocent about not being who she wants me to be, but I can't. Jesus Christ, the poor woman's dying, how am I supposed to feel alright about hating her?" Seamus asked. Dean shook his head.

"It's not your fault you have a conscience," he said, "it's a good thing you do." Seamus looked up at Dean, making eye contact with him for what felt like forever.

"Dean..." he whispered softly, still staring into his eyes.

"What is it?" Dean asked. When Seamus didn't respond, Dean added "you can tell me anything. You know that, don't you?" Seamus smiled.

"I do. And I... really appreciate everything you've done for me. Have I ever told you that? God's sake, you don't get enough credit from people; especially me. You're always there for me when I'm acting like an arse and whenever I'm..." Again, Seamus' voice drifted off before finishing the sentence. Instead he just stared at Dean. Dean smiled softly, and without really thinking much about it, grabbed Seamus's hand and held it in his own.

"Seamus, you don't need to tell me this, I've been there for you every time you've needed me because you've never given me anything less." It could have been Dean's imagination, but it seemed that a blush crept across Seamus's cheeks. Seamus's eyes then darted towards Dean's hand, which was still holding Seamus's. Dean looked down at their hands, and quickly pulled his away.

"Sorry," he mumbled. How could he be so stupid? What was he thinking? Dean was unsure of what to say next, when he felt Seamus's hand grab his own.

"No, it's okay," Seamus told Dean softly. Dean looked at Seamus, as if asking for an explanation. Did he not realize how border line gay it was to be holding hands with his "best mate?" Seamus either didn't realize that, or he didn't care. Instead, he moved closer and closer to Dean...

The kiss wasn't a big one. It wasn't a kiss someone would expect from Seamus, in any case. However, it was the best kiss Dean had ever received. Probably it was Seamus.

When they pulled away, there was a brief silence between them. Dean wanted more, despite the fact this made no sense. However, Dean didn't care. He leaned in for a second kiss, when Seamus pulled back.

"Um... let's just pretend that never happened," he said quietly while looking at that same letter.

-End of Chapter-

Okay, just so you know, that was my first attempt at fluff. So don't be too mean. You know, I always get really frustrated when writing romatic scenes. Not because I've never had a romantic experience, but because I always feel like someone is watching me and making fun of me. So, if you're curious, this is what I wrote for a while after Seamus kissed Dean.

When they pulled away, Dean wanted to slap that bitch upside the head.  
"Stupid Irish Git!" He yelled. Then Harry Potter woke up and put on his glasses.  
"Hello, my name is Harry Potter. Why the hell is TamTikitigo writing this piece of crap?" He asked Ron, who was sleeping.  
"I want Hermione sex," Ron mumbled, since he was sleeping.  
"Yeah, me too," said Harry. "Wait a minute..." Then Draco Malfoy came into the room, completely naked.

Yeah, I don't know why I'm naked, but I am." He said to no one in particular.  
"Hey Malfoy, what are you doing naked in the Gryffindor common room?" Harry asked him.  
"Looking for you sexah!" Draco replied. Harry shook his head.  
"You spelled 'sexy' wrong. It's not spelled 'sexah.' You fail." And then Lotte Lenya came in and raped all the Gryffindor boys plus Draco. The end.

Yep. Be nice to me. Did I say that already?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Yay! Updating fanfiction! I must say, I have been so effing busy since school started. I'm sure many can relate. I'm soooo proud of this chapter, by the by. I just find it to be so cute and funny! Read and Review!

_Begin Chapter_

The rest of the night went by uneventfully for both of them. After Seamus asked to forget that border line gay kiss ever happened, Dean mumbled an "okay," went back to his bed, and decided to rest. Maybe it was all just some stupid dream. He probably didn't have to fret over this too much, since it's obviously a dream. A very bad dream. Dean was able to sleep by using all of his self denial juices he had.

Seamus was a different story. After Dean retreated to his own bed, Seamus picked up that letter, and re read it again and again, each time getting more and more furious. He hated everything about that god damn stupid letter! Even random things like the color of the ink (dark blue) and the little tea stain in the corner.

'This is all your fault,' he thought as he looked at the letter. 'You know, I hate you. You are a god awful mother. If, by any chance, you saw what just happened... well how the hell could you see that? That means you invade my privacy! God, I could make a list of how you're such a fucking terrible mother!' And that is exactly what Seamus did. He grabbed a piece of paper, a pen, and wrote away.

1. You invade my privacy and watch me have man on man action with... well, men. That isn't exactly true, but I hate you.

2. You have the most obnoxious voice I've ever heard. It's a shrieking banshee like screech mixed with an Irish accent!

3. You give people with Irish accents bad names, you fucking banshee.

4. You think I can't take care of myself at Hogwarts, even though... for gods sake, it's not like I'm Harry fucking Potter! Who would even _want _to come after me?

5. You're stupid. You just are.

6. You're ill. That makes me so angry. How could you? How could you put me through this awful guilt trip?

7. You make me so fucking emotional that I end up kissing people left and right! I don't usually kiss people. I usually just keep my angst to myself and enjoy simply looking at Dean and not touching. That was the most awkward sentence I've ever written about Dean, god I'm such a fairy.

8. You have wrinkles and you're ugly.

9. But.. You're ugly because you're sick. Not because you were born with ugly genes. God I'm such an awful son.

Seamus had to stop writing after that.

* * *

The next morning, Seamus did a wonderful job at pretending nothing happened. The morning ritual went as it always did: Seamus wakes up; hits Dean with pillow; Dean growls at him; Seamus points and laughs; Dean throws a pillow at Seamus; Seamus says a few cuss words; Dean races Seamus to shower; Seamus loses and says a few cuss words again. Yes, this raised Dean's spirits very much.

'Maybe it _was _all just a dream!' Dean thought to himself happily as he went down to the Gryffindor common room.

But maybe he spoke too soon.

Neville was downstairs, pacing back and forth in the common room.

"Hey Neville, is everything alright?" Dean asked. Neville jumped at the sound of Dean's voice, and put up his hands as if Dean was pointing a gun at him.

"I didn't mean to see you snogging Seamus!" He said quickly. This caused a few Gryffindor second years to look at Dean and Neville, while a few fourth year girls began whispering to each other animatedly. Dean slapped his hand to his forehead.

"I'm so sorry Dean, I didn't –"

"Neville, it never happened. You didn't see anything," he said dully. Neville nodded, and left the common room as quickly as possible.

'Well,' Dean thought sadly, 'there goes my dream theory.'

About a week past without anything eventful for Seamus and Dean. It wasn't until the two of them were studying in the library that anybody even mentioned the night.

"So... I'm still confused. _Why _did Hambledon Quince get all this negative responses to his theory?" Seamus was saying while staring at a picture of a white haired bespeckled man.

"Because he thought that Wizards came from Mars and that Muggles came from mushrooms." Dean lazily replied back.

"Well I got that part, but why is that controversial?"

"I don't know. Because we eat mushrooms and that would make wizards cannibalistic."

"Why do we have to research this _anyway_!" Seamus asked angrily.

"You know, that's a good question." Dean said while smiling to himself and staring idly at his quill. He expected Seamus to say something after that, and yet there was silence. Dean then looked up to see if Seamus was still alive, and the two made eye contact for a split second before Seamus awkwardly began reading his book again. Dean and Seamus encountered quite a few of these awkward moments after the kiss. Either someone would be staring at the other, and the other would notice, or someone would accidently touch the others hand, then pull it away quickly, or someone would touch the others arm in a conversation, and the other would start paying attention to that instead of the conversation, just stupid stuff like that. Every time something like that happened, Dean thought of that night.

"Hey Seamus?" Dean said.

"Hey yes?" Seamus replied, still reading his book and chewing on the feathery end of his quill.

"Um... about that night..." Seamus stopped chewing on the end of his quill, and looked up.

"What about it?" He asked with no emotion.

"I know we agreed not to talk about it, but... I'm just confused. Why did you do that?" Dean asked.

"Oh you know me. I'm always horny on my period." Seamus replied quickly.

"Uh... what?"

"You heard me! I'd even snog Professor McGonagall! Actually, I'd snog that sexy feline any day. She's just asking for it, that McGonagall!" Seamus said, wiggling his eyebrows at Dean. Dean began laughing.

"You shouldn't have said that, mate," He said. Seamus frowned at him.

"Why? Wouldn't you want to make hot passionate love to Professor McGonagall? Wait a minute... she's right behind me, isn't she?"

"Well, not exactly directly behind you, but within earshot." Dean said looking over Seamus's shoulder.

"Detention, Finnigan. My office, directly after school." A stern voice growled. 'Go figure,' thought Dean happily.

* * *

Detention with Mcgonagall was awkward to say the least. It started out in silence, with Seamus doing his homework and Mcgonagall writing something that was none of Seamus' business. This went on for a while, until Seamus finally said something.

"Er, Proffesor McGonagall? When is detention over?" He asked. McGonagall looked up, and gave Seamus that stern look that would make anybody tremble in fear.

"Mr. Finnigan, you earlier stated, in a loud booming voice so the whole library could hear you, that you would 'snog that sexy feline any day'. The 'sexy feline' reffering to me. When do _you _think detention is over?" She said, articulating every word through clenched teeth.

"Woah there, Minerva, I understand that you want me as much as I want you, we must keep this discreet. Keeping me for long detention hours is a wee bit suspicious. There have been rumors on Professor Snape and Harry Potter based on these 'detention dates.' I wouldn't want that to happen to us." There was a moment of dead silence, with McGonagall staring at Seamus for a _very _long time, and Seamus beaming at her.

"I give up! I have no response to that. I can't say anything that will make you realize – I give up!" McGonagall said tiredly, throwing her arms into the air in defeat.

"So... does this mean detentions over?"

"_No it does not mean detentions over!"_

"Okay!" Seamus decided not to push for a conversation any time soon after that. And so, detention went on, and all Seamus could think about was how to handle the situation between him and Dean. Ignoring it had worked just fine up until now, yet how long was he supposed to ignore it? In fact, how long did he _want _to ignore it?

"Professor, may I ask you something?" Seamus asked politely, looking up from his homework. McGonagall eyed him with her stern eyes.

"Depends. You won't be asking me when detention's over, will you?"

"No, no. I just need some advice. And I thought that you, being a wise elder, would know what to say!" Seamus said, buttering up his words to put McGonagall in a better mood. Judging by her pursed lips, it didn't work.

"Let me give you some advice on 'kissing up' first. Don't try and make the person you're kissing up to feel old." McGonagall replied, smirking at Seamus.

"Did I say you were old? I meant you were young and sexy and –"

"Actually I prefer 'old,' rather than 'sexy,' coming from you Mr. Finnigan."

"Right. Well, okay. Um, I have this friend..."

"I'm sure you do." McGonagall chuckled.

"Right. And he is head over heals in love with someone he can't have."

"The person he can't have isn't me, right?"

"Of course not! The thing is... Don't tell my friend I told you this, but... my friend is head over heals for another guy!"

"No." McGonagall replied, somewhat sarcastically.

"Yes!" Seamus whispered enthusiastically. "And the thing is, he accidently kissed this guy he's head over heals in love with, and now it's awkward. So I guess what I'm trying to ask is how do I... help my friend, make things less awkward or possibly, er, win the affections of, uh, the, well, love interest?" Seamus finished timidly. McGonagall sighed, and put her quill on her desk.

"I'm not sure I'm the best person to be asking this, since I haven't had a very optimistic outlook on love, but I'll try my best to help you. All I can say from experience is that if you ignore the incident, it will only get worse. It may seem like everything is going as you have planned, but it would be better to address the incident before he does."

"He's already addressed the incident! Sort of. Well, I guess I didn't give him a very good answer... My _friend _didn't give him a very good answer!" Seamus corrected himself quickly.

"Did your friend respond with quote 'I'd even snog Professor McGonagall?' Because you're right, that would not be a very good answer." McGonagall said, smiling slightly. Seamus sighed, and nodded his head.

"Mr. Finnigan, believe me, I know what you're going through. I know more than anybody what it's like to want someone you can't have." McGonagall told him. Seamus' eyes widened.

"You're a lesbian!"

"No, that's not what I mean! I mean that in the past I've been in a situation where I've had feelings for someone who didn't – who _couldn't _– return the feelings."

"Who?" Seamus asked enthusiastically. McGonagall raised her eyebrows at him, as if asking if he seriously expected her to answer. "Oh come on now McGonagall, I came out of the closet to you! You can't keep your love interest a secret!"

"Watch me," McGonagall said dangerously. "Oh, and Seamus. Dean's a nice boy. Even if he doesn't return the feelings, he'll still be your friend." Seamus smiled thoughtfully.

"Thanks Minerva. I'm glad you talked with me. Oh, and you know what, Severus is a nice man. Even if he doesn't return the feelings, he'll still be your friend." Seamus replied, winking. McGonagall threw up her hands in defeat.

"I give up! I simply cannot have a thoughtful conversation with you, can I Mr. Finnigan?"

"Probably not. Is detention over?"

Silence.

"Yes, detention is over." As Seamus left the room, McGonagall took out a box of lemon drops, and popped one into her mouth, smiling slightly.

_End Chapter_

A/N: Yay! I love Professor McGonagall! I think she acted a little younger than she really was, but oh well. I still loved that chapter. Oh, and did you get the lemon drops hint? Eh? Anyway, review. I love them. I will read them instead of doing my History research, I promise.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Updating!? Me!?! No way! Also, a warning about this chapter, it's kind of a plot device. Ginny, Seamus, Dean, Hannah Abbot and Draco Malfoy all kind of ended up in the Room of Requirement for absolutely no reason at all. I hope that doesn't really bother anyone..? And also, thank you so much for the reviews! They make me so happy!

* * *

Chapter 3

"So Seamus, are there any dark secrets you're hiding?" Ginny said casually, smiling in Seamus's direction. In return, Seamus gave her a sarcastic smile back, and laughed. It was a Saturday afternoon, and somehow, Seamus, Ginny, Dean, Hannah Abbot, and Draco Malfoy all found themselves stuck in the room of requirement. None of them are quite sure how, but Dean suggested that plot devices are becoming more and more common these days. All Seamus knew was that he was not in the mood to tell anyone a deep dark secret about himself.

"I don't feel like answering, how's that for something dark and secret?" He said bitterly.

"Alright, fine, but that means you have to take a shot," Ginny told him. Seamus glanced at Dean, who glanced back at Seamus.

"Look, Ginny, this is a cute little game you have going on here, but nobody really wants to –"

"Hey, I do!" Draco said quickly, cutting off Dean. Dean raised an eyebrow at him.

"So you don't mind playing drinking games with Gryffindors?" Dean asked him, giving him a sly smile. Draco laughed.

"It's not that I don't hate Gryffindors. It's that I want to learn dark secrets about them," Draco said, mimicking Dean's sly smile. Seamus didn't think that Draco was quite as good at the whole sly smiling thing, but then again, Seamus was a little biased.

"Well, I don't know, what exactly do you mean a dark secret?" Hannah asked them, glancing around the room. "If I told them, they wouldn't be secrets. Well, maybe you're just asking if I _have_ them, not asking me to tell them. But then what's the point of asking? It's not like you'd learn anything! And if me having dark secrets was worth learning, then I'd probably lie to you and say I don't have dark secrets." She rambled.

"Ooh, which would add to your dark secret list!" Exclaimed Seamus excitedly. Hannah laughed.

"Not that I _have _a dark secret list," she joked, winking and giving Seamus a nudge, who in return, winked and nudged back. Ginny gave a frustrated growl.

"Look, we're stuck here for god knows how long. This is perfect for this kind of game! It's a way of getting to _know _each other, and a way to learn something new. Besides, you have to admit that you want to learn dark secrets about the other people in the room!" She told them. Everyone nodded in agreement. "So in return, you have to sacrifice your own dark secret. The only person who might actually tell someone is Malfoy, and he'd just tell a bunch of Slytherins," Ginny said casually, talking as if Draco wasn't there. Draco glared at her.

"For your information, I'm a man of my word. If I say that I won't tell anyone, I won't tell anyone. So bite that Weasley," Draco told Ginny, who gave a mock gasp at Draco's anger.

"So does that mean you're willing to go first?" Dean asked him. Draco glared at him, but before he could say anything, Dean spoke up again.

"Fine! Apparently not! No need for the death glare."

"Why don't _you _go first Dean?" Ginny said, giving Dean one of her flirty looks. Dean, who was used to these from Ginny, ignored it.

"How about _you_ Ginny? It's _your _game, after all," Dean told Ginny, mocking Ginny's flirty look.

"You know what? I will! I'm bisexual!" Ginny said triumphantly. Dean groaned.

"Ginny, you are _not _bisexual! Just because you thought Hermione looked pretty at the Yule ball that one time, it does not make you bisexual!" He told her. Ginny glared at him.

"I am too! So you think I'm questioning? Is that it? This isn't questioning! I was questioning when I thought I was transgendered!"

"Choose a different dark secret, please," Dean said, shaking his head. Ginny stuck her tongue out at him as a reply.

"Wait, does Potter know you're bisexual?" Draco asked. He wasn't necessarily snide about it, he just sounded as if he wanted to know. Ginny folded her arms.

"Well, I _told_ him. He tried to muffle a laugh and said 'um, sure you are Ginny,' and patted me on the shoulder." Hannah laughed, and Ginny glared at her.

"What's so funny?"

"I don't know, I just find it funny that you think you're bisexual," she said while laughing. Seamus began laughing as well.

"I don't _think_ I'm bisexual! I _know_ I'm bisexual! _What _is so funny?" She spat at Seamus and Hannah, who were both clutching their stomachs in laughter.

"Nothing _really,_" Seamus told her, "It's just that, I don't know. If _Ron _knew you were bisexual –"

"He does."

"Really? What did he say?" Seamus asked. Ginny shrugged.

"He said something like, 'Ginny, please. I think girl on girl action is hot as much as the next bloke, but when it's my sister... it's bloody disgusting' And why were _you _laughing Hannah? You don't know my brother that well, so it couldn't be because of that." Hannah shrugged.

"Well, I don't know. To tell you the truth, I don't believe real bisexuals exist –"

"Yes they do!" It wasn't Ginny who spoke up this time, it was Dean. Hannah raised an eyebrow at Dean.

"Sorry?" She said timidly. Dean sighed.

"Ah, forget it. Not that big of a deal." Dean muttered. Ginny looked at Draco, who smiled back. He then looked to Hannah, who smiled back at him. Hannah then looked to Seamus, who gave her a smile as well.

"Who votes that Dean should go next?" Ginny asked. Everyone raised their hand, (except for Dean of course.) Dean groaned.

"Fine. I'm bisexual. Is that what you wanted to hear?" He asked everyone. Seamus nodded.

"Why are _you_ nodding? You knew this already," Dean spat at Seamus, who grinned.

"I just like hearing you confess this stuff in front of people like Malfoy. It's cute, really!" This time, both Draco and Dean glared at Seamus.

"For your information Finnigan, I have nothing against homosexuals or bisexuals. Why does everyone think I'm so prejudiced against everyone?" He asked. Both Dean and Ginny laughed.

"How about all that pure blood stuff you keep rambling about all the time?" Dean asked him. Draco raised an eyebrow at him.

"You _are _one for getting people to be brutally honest, aren't you?" he asked cooly. Dean just shrugged.

"It's in my nature. I can't help it," he said. Draco laughed.

"It's in my nature to hate mudbloods like you, Dean. It's not really in my power. Not that I mind, don't you start getting the wrong idea about me. Sure, I was raised on these prejudice ideas, but I do like hating mudbloods. I don't want to rebel against my family just so I could fuck with some muggle," he said darkly. Before Hannah or Ginny could speak up in an angry lecture, Seamus spoke up instead.

"Why did you call him Dean?" Seamus asked. Draco glared at Seamus, and Dean gave him a perplexed look.

"Because that's his name?" Draco said. Seamus shook his head angrily.

"Then why not call me Seamus instead of Finnigan? Why not call Ginny Ginny instead of Weasley? And Potter too! Isn't his name Harry? If you're calling everyone by their surname, then why did you call Dean Dean!? You guys aren't having a notorious love affair, are you?" He asked suspiciously. Dean began laughing, while Draco smiled at Seamus nonchalantly.

"More like I didn't know his last name," he said.

"So, are you _really _bisexual, or are you just–" Hannah began.

"I'm not saying that because I want to go against the system or any of that bullshit. To tell you the truth, I would much rather be straight for this _exact_ reason. Nobody believes you when you tell them, and you still get this anti gay prejudice. I'm not necessarily _proud _of my sexual preference. It's just how it goes," Dean told her, somewhat cooly.

"I'm only skeptical because, well, there are a lot of bi curious people in the wizarding world. I'm not homophobic, I swear! My best friend is a lesbian!" Hannah said defensively. Seamus raised his hand.

"Yes Seamus?" Ginny said.

"I think that Hannah Abbot should go next, and tell us who her lesbian friend is," Seamus replied, winking at Hannah. Hannah gave a flustered sigh.

"Guys, this isn't fair. She's not even _here_, I'd feel awful gossiping about her behind her back! She hates gossip, and what would I tell her when she asked 'what were you doing in the room of requirement?' How would I reply to that? 'Oh nothing Susan! We were just talking about how you're a lesbian!'"

"Susan _Bones_?" Ginny gasped. Hannah's eyes widened in shock, as if she couldn't believe that.

"Er, no?" She tried, smiling awkwardly at Ginny. "Oh god, guys, _please_ don't tell her I told you! Oh she'd absolutely die if she knew I told _Ginny Weasley _–"

"What? Why would she care if I know or not?" Ginny asked defensively. Hannah gave a nervous giggle.

"Well, no offense Ginny, but you are somewhat of a gossip.."

"I am not!! I can't believe you said that! What the hell does Susan know about me anyway!? It's not like I'm Lavander Brown! She's such an awful bitch, you have _no _idea! Did you hear that rumor she spread about Eloise the other day? I'm a bloody princess compared to that!" Ginny spat at her. Hannah smiled weakly at Ginny.

"Well, to tell you the truth Ginny, you kind of just proved my point," she said. Seamus burst into laughter, and Draco glared at him.

"You laugh a lot, don't you?" He asked. Seamus smiled back at him.

"What?! What's wrong with laughing? I suppose there's something wrong with it if you're Draco I'm-so-dark Malfoy! Be careful in that department, Harry Potter could easily overthrow you with his angst and drama!" Seamus joked, nudging Draco in the ribs.

"Don't touch me," Draco said cooly. Seamus instantly obeyed, because truth be told, he was a little afraid of Draco. Just then, Seamus raised his hand.

"Er, yes Seamus?" Dean asked. Ginny then slapped Dean on the arm.

"Hey! _I'm _the one who gets to call on people, it's _my _game!" She told him. Draco rolled his eyes.

"You and Potter _are _a great couple, aren't you? Both of you think that you're in charge, and both of you think that the world revolves around you." Draco said. Seamus laughed.

"At first I thought you were going to say 'both of you think you're bisexual,' _that _would be some juicy gossip!" Seamus said. Draco gave him a sly smile.

"What about you, Finnigan? Sexuality seems to be the topic at hand, so which way do you swing?" He asked. Seamus's smile faded a little, and he suddenly looked nervous. Dean looked nervous as well.

"Well, er... Hey, who wants to know?" He accused. "No offense Malfoy, but I'm not big on the pure-blood Slytherin blond types. I go for the brown sugar," Seamus said. Dean shook his head and slapped his forehead. The racial comparisons to "brown sugar" and "dark chocolate" got a little old. Malfoy smirked.

"Well exactly. You and Dean seem pretty close. Dean's half fairy, so why not?" Draco said. Dean looked at the ground, and bit the inside of his cheek while blushing. It wasn't necessarily a cute facial expression, like the ones you sometimes get when you tease couples. It was more ashamed than anything. Seamus glanced at Dean awkwardly, and then looked back at Draco.

"We're not dating," He said darkly. Draco rolled his eyes.

"Oh please. Of course you are! You're obviously gay, no offense Seamus, and –"

"God damn it! I'm not... I just... this isn't... I'm not gay, alright?" Seamus said, feeling more awkward than ever. Dean gave a dry laugh.

"Are you really not gay? Or did your mother decide for you?" Dean asked bitterly. Seamus glared at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked.

"You know very fucking well what it means. I just... It's frustrating, alright? I don't know wether or not you're really straight or if you're just trying to please your mother –"

"Why the hell do you care wether I'm gay or not? It's not any of your business."

"Why do I care!? Why do I – I'm not one who can casually receive a kiss from his best friend and completely forget about it Seamus!" Dean yelled. Seamus's cheeks turned bright red, and the three pairs of eyes on him didn't help much.

"Er, Dean? Can we talk about this later?" Seamus mumbled awkwardly. Dean laughed.

"You know, I've tried to talk to you about this when we're alone! I've tried to find a time that wasn't awkward, but you leave me no choice!! This is what you get for changing the subject every time I tried to talk to you about it, or throwing the topic away with some joke like 'oh you know me, I always get horny on my period.' As much as I love your jokes, I need a real answer Seamus!!"

"Well I can't bloody give you one!!!" Seamus yelled. There was an awkward silence, with Dean and Seamus glaring at each other, Draco looking a little guilty he brought up the subject, Hannah looking somewhat terrified, and Ginny staring at both of them in awe.

"I don't want to be, alright? I don't... I didn't just forget about that kiss. It wasn't just me trying to screw with your mind, it was... I'm sorry. I can't do that. I just can't," Seamus said, his voice small and trembling. Dean glared back at him.

"Why not? Are you afraid of what people would think of you? Are you actually straight? Are you just not interested in me? I mean, I just don't know!" Seamus sighed.

"It's not any of that Dean. You were right the first time. It's my mother," Seamus told him, avoiding eye contact.

"I don't understand, Seamus. I thought you hated her anyway!" Dean said.

"I know I say that, but I don't hate her, she drives me absolutely insane at times, but... God, I wish I could just hate her in peace," He said. Dean frowned.

"Seamus, I just don't see why your mothers opinion should have anything to do with –"

"She's dying, alright Dean!? My mother's been sick ever since the end of my fourth year, and I finally received a letter a few weeks ago that said she's in St. Mungo's. Remember when I wasn't in classes last week? Well now you know why. I was visiting my mother. And as much as I absolutely hate her, I'm not allowed to, because she's so ill. Remember when I was so pissed at Harry back in the fifth year? I mean, if my mother wasn't ill, I'd probably say something like 'cool, Harry hates my mum too! Let's have a hate mother Finnigan party!' But she was, and I absolutely cannot stand..." Seamus's voice grew silent.

"I'm sorry Dean, but I can't do that to her at a time like this." Seamus said, shaking his head and looking downright miserable. A long silence filled the room, not one of them wanting to speak.

"That wasn't awkward," Draco finally said. Everyone glared at him since, first of all, nobody particularly liked him, and second of all, everyone thought it was an inappropriate place to speak up.

"Oh sure, glare at me for trying to break the awkward silence," Draco said sarcastically, folding his arms over his chest. Dean smiled at him.

"No, it was a noble thing to do Malfoy, since it's your turn to let out a dark secret," he said sweetly. Draco rolled his eyes.

"Oh come off it, I got what I wanted. I don't have to say anything. Oh, by the by, what _is _your last name?" He said to Dean.

"Thomas," was the reply.

"Well, _Thomas_, I'm leaving."

"We're stuck here, you fucking eejit," Seamus told him. Draco gave a little frustrated growl.

"Well then, I'm remaining silent anyway!"

"Don't you want a drink?" Ginny asked slyly. Draco looked as if he was going to say no, when Ginny added "if you're too much of a good boy, I guess I understand, but if not, it's the least you can do after blowing off the secret part." Draco glared at her in that sinister way of his. However, he eyed the glass of fire whiskey in her hand in a peculiar manner.

"Alright, give me a shot," he said darkly. The sad truth about Malfoy was that he wasn't very good at handling his alcohol. To prove his masculinity, he took another shot, and another, and another, and pretty soon he was completely wasted.

"Oh DAMN I love fire whiskey!" He's say loudly, attempting to take another shot, but instead pouring the drink down his shirt. Seamus and Ginny smirked at each other.

"Are you as tempted as I am to take advantage of him?" Ginny asked Seamus. Seamus simply looked at Draco with that same smirk he gave Ginny.

"So, Draco Malfoy," he said in a business like manner, "do you want to share a deep dark secret?" Draco began laughing like a maniac.

"Oh you know, dark secrets, they don't stick to me. I'm not gay like you faggots, no offense or anything! But yeah, I don't have butt sex secrets. I'm puuurebloood!!!! I loooove you Dark Lord!!! Man, I can't wait to be a death eater!!! Death eaters are my heart!!!" Everyone in the room eyed each other, as if saying 'go figure.'

"Maybe Malfoy _doesn't _have any dark secrets," Hannah said sadly. Ginny shook her head furiously.

"No no no, there has to be _something! _Hey Malfoy, who are you in love with?" She asked him.

"Not you, muggle lover whore!! Go fuck _Harry Potter! _The Dark Lord will _take him doooown!!! _Whooo!"

"Yeah, you're right," Ginny said to Dean. "He really isn't that interesting, is he?"

"Yeah, I know." Seamus said. "I'd rather watch football with Dean than watch Draco act like a complete Death Eater."

"Did you say _football?_" Draco asked in amazement. Dean and Seamus looked at him.

"Er, yes. Why?" Seamus asked. Draco began laughing.

"Football is... it's the best bloody sport ever!! I love football!" He said happily. Dean raised his eyebrows.

"Really?" He asked. Draco nodded.

"Man, and the world cup that last year, that was so amazing! I loove Brazil!"

"Hey, me too! They beat Italy, I _hate _Italy!" Dean said excitedly. Draco shook his head.

"I know, me too. But, damn, I wish that England had won." Draco said sadly. Dean looked at him like he was crazy.

"Pfft, you kidding? England hasn't won the cup since 1966!" Dean said. Draco nodded.

"I know, I know... at least they're not the fucking United States! They're rubbish! They don't even call it _football _where they're from, it makes no sense!"

"Wait a minute!" Seamus said. "You like _football_?" He asked Draco. Draco's face suddenly lost it's color, and his eyes widened in horror.

"Oh _no! _Don't tell anyone! Don't tell anyone I like a mudblood sport, _please!! _I don't know what I'd do! I – I can't have my _parents _knowing!!! Don't let any Slytherin know! _Please!!_" He pleaded, looking at everyone in the room.

"Hey guys," Ginny said. "I think we know Draco Malfoy's deep dark secret."

* * *

A/N: Oh Draco Malfoy! What are we going to do with you? You know, after writing that, I'm _kind of _tempted to write Dean Draco slash, just because they interact with each other funny. Totally not canon at all though. Even Harry/Draco is more canon than that. Hell, even Lucius/Draco is more canon than that. Besides, I'm sure Seamus would protest. Maybe not canon Seamus, since he'd get to laugh at Dean without being insanely jealous of Draco Malfoy. Canon Seamus is no fun though, since he's so straight. 


End file.
